R.I.P. Barney

Yesterday evening, my mom called to give me some sad news. Our family dog - Barney - had to be put to sleep. We've had Barney since 1992. He was a black miniature schnauzer. Barney lived a long and vibrant life. The last year or so, Barney's age started to show. He had a stroke earlier this year and was losing his eyesight. He'd lost the pep in his step; he was no longer running up and down the big hill in my parent's backyard, barking at people as they walked by our house. But even though age had slowed him down, he was still the same Barney that came into our lives during the winter of 1992. He arrived with a stuffed Barney the Dinosaur in his mouth. That's how he got his name. My dad affectionately called him "B2" and my mom and I would call him "Barn" or "Barn-Barn". He was an integral part of the family. Losing Barney is like losing a member of the family. Darrius used to torture Barney when he was a toddler but Barney never snapped or growled at him. He would take the abuse and keep it moving. As Darrius got older, he started being afraid of Barney even though Barney gave him no reason to be afraid of him. When I told Darrius the news about Barney last night, he was upset and sad. But he understood that Barney was old and frail and that he was suffering.

I hope Barney has a great afterlife in Doggie Heaven. He's no longer suffering. He's at peace.

We'll miss you Barn! <3

Frustration!!!!

I want to pull my hair out. My frustration with Darrius has reached unsurmountable heights. It makes me wonder if he's really my child. I don't know what his problem is but he has been out of control. His behavior has been fine. It's his attitude. It's like he's going through puberty at the age of 10!!! Sometimes I just want to ask him: "What is wrong with you!!!" I don't know how much more I can take. He's currently on punishment because of his report card. He didn't get "bad" grades. On the contrary he got B's and C's. Most parents will be happy with those grades. Well not me because he got those C's because he didn't turn in all of his homework. So basically he could have had A's and B's on his report card. What do I need to do? Hover over him every day when he's doing his homework to make sure it gets done? When I ask him if he's finished his homework and he tells me 'yes', I trust that he's telling me the truth. Obviously he hasn't been. He's now grounded; no tv, no going outside, no video games, no cellphone. And it hasn't phased him one bit.

When I was little and I would get spanked or punished, I would get my act together. Pronto. Maybe boys are different. I don't know. I remember my brother being in trouble all the time. Something has got to change. I can not spend my evenings battling with a 10 year old child. I may runaway from home. I'm hoping it's a hormonal thing that he's going through and that my wonderful child will reappear soon. Because right now this demon-child has worked my last nerve. I have no nerves left. It doesn't help when your husband's solution is to say: Don't let him get to you. Ha! Double Ha! That's easy to say. By the time he gets home from work, I've been dealing with the whining and the complaining and trying to get Darrius started on his homework for 2 hours. And checking the homework and when there are corrections that need to be made, hearing the deep breath and the stomping of the feet and the "oh my gosh!" being muttered as he walks back to his room. So excuse me if by the time the Husband gets home, I'm a little frazzled. And this happens everyday! So sorry if I can't let it get to me. I'm trying to instill good work ethics now so that Darrius can succeed in the future.

Yes I am tough when it comes to school. My parents were tough on me. Being successfull in school was expected. No questions. So of course I'm going to be just as tough, even tougher, on Darrius. Because I know that he's at a disadvantage being a black boy in the public school system. No matter how unfair it is, some teachers treat boys differently. Whether they do it consciously or unconsciously, it's a fact. So I've told Darrius he's going to have to work twice as hard just to get the same recognition as any other classmate. It's the way of the world. It's not fair but that's how it is.

That's the end of my vent. I feel a little better. I'm still at my wit's end.

Calgon...take me away....PLEASE!!!!

Mothers often are too easily intimidated by their children’s negative reactions...When the child cries or is unhappy, the mother reads this as meaning that she is a failure. This is why it is so important for a mother to know...that the process of growing up involves by definition things that her child is not going to like. Her job is not to create a bed of roses, but to help him learn how to pick his way through the thorns. -Elaine Heffner

Cuteness

Here are pictures that Ricky sent of my nephews Adrian and Raymond. They are too cute.

Fall Foliage, Soccer, and Teeth

Sunday was a busy day for us. With a lot of happenings and goings on so I'm putting it all in one post. Enjoy.

I can't believe Fall is here...officially. This weekend it was 60 degrees, windy and chilly. I am not ready for this weather but I guess I don't have a choice. The upside to Fall is watching the leaves change. And I love the smell of Fall. It's so crisp and fresh.

Here's a pic of me at Darrius' soccer game today. It was cold and windy. It seemed like the game lasted forever! The Green Eagles loss 2-1. The other team - The Gray Rhinos - scored the winning goal in the last 5 minutes of the game. It was a tough loss.

I've been semi-complaining about Darrius not losing any teeth. It's been at least 2 years since he's lost his last tooth. Today we were in the car, on our way to Party City to get our Halloween costumes. I'm pulling out of our neighborhood and Darrius says: "Mom, guess what. My tooth came out." I turn around and he had it in his hand. Just last night he was complaining about the loose tooth hurting and that it was making it difficult for him to eat. He wanted to pull the tooth out then. I told him the tooth will come out when it's ready so leave it alone. I guess the tooth decided today that it was ready.

Here's the tooth. It's a tooth that had a root canal when he was 6. He got a silver cap. Now Darrius thinks that because the tooth is encased in silver, it has more value. According to him, the tooth fairy should give him at least $10 for his silver tooth. I think the tooth fairy needs to take a trip to the ATM.

Memories - High School Days

Last night I was going through some photo albums, looking for high school pictures. I spent my last two years of high school in New Delhi, India. I didn't particularly appreciate being uprooted from everything that I knew and loved to move to a 3rd world country. But I had no choice in the matter. I was 16; what was I going to do? Stay behind and get a job and live on my own? I don't think so. Looking at the pictures brought back great memories. I met wonderful people and made lifelong friends. And I had an experience that not many people get a chance to have. And for that I'm very appreciative.

So here are a couple of pictures that brought back fond memories.

For our Senior Trip, we went to Hua Hin, Thailand. We stayed at a beach resort. It was a great trip. It gave me a chance to get to know my fellow classmates a little better.

This picture was taken at Prom. I can't really call it Senior Prom because they entire High School was allowed to go.

I was on the volleyball team - obviously. It was great. I had the opportunity to travel to Pakistan for the tournaments. We won the SAISA Championship my first year on the team. Woo-hoo!

When I look back on my time in India, I realize I actually did have a great time and I appreciate the experience and the people - especially the people.

Fall Sunset

I was sitting in the car during Darrius' soccer practice, watching an episode of The King of Queens on my iPod. I vaguely realized that it was starting to get dark so I glanced at the clock inside my car. It read 6:50. I then looked out the window, at the sky, and saw this. I thought it was beautiful and decided to take some pictures with my cellphone.







Practice ended at 7:10 because it was pitch black outside. It's official...Fall is here.

Fall Soccer

\It's September and the Fall Soccer season is upon us. Darrius was in the game for 5 seconds and experienced his first injury of the season. He was dribbling the ball past a player. He passed the ball to his teammate. The ball ricocheted off the opposing player and hit Darrius square in the eye. Needless to say...it was not a pretty sight. Coach Rick carried Darrius to the sideline where the Team Mom proceeded to calm and soothe Darrius.

Here's Coach Rick holding and talking to Darrius. You can see a little bit of Darrius' head on the coach's left shoulder. Coach Rick is the best. He really cares for his boys.

Here's Darrius with a Capri sun on his eye. We didn't have any ice so we had to improvise.





There's squinty. His eye was a little swollen and sore but he got back in the game like a trooper. Luckily he didn't end up with a black eye.

The Green Eagles won 2-0. Go Eagles!!!