So what's next?

Now that I'm all about a New Me for 2011, what exactly do I want for the "New Me"? Obviously the major goal is to lose weight. But what else? There are a lot of things that I want to improve upon and they are not all physical. Back in 2008, I wrote a post titled "9 Goals for 2009". This list included 9 things that I wanted to cross off my to-do list. Out of the 9, I think I accomplished two. LOL! Some of the items on the list are still things that I want to accomplish, like run in a 5k race.

I am a pessimist at heart and that is one thing that I really want to change. I am quick to be negative or see the negative side of things. My justification? I don't want to be disappointed. So the best thing to do is to think that something's not going to happen so that if it doesn't, the let down is easier. I need to stop doing that. For the next 4 weeks I am going to make a conscious effort to stop being a Debbie Downer. It's not going to be easy. Old habits die hard. But I'm going to try my best.

We've all experienced that point in our lives where we feel like we looked our best. For me, that time was the summer/fall before I got pregnant with D. I was the smallest I'd been in a long time. I weighed 123 lbs and was wearing a size 6. I was working out twice a day and eating healthy. I loved the way my body looked and I was working hard for it. Is it my goal to get back down to 120lbs? No. It would be nice but I know my body has completely changed since having a child and being over 30. My metabolism is on an extended vacation. My goal weight is 130/135. Why that? When I was in college, I had gained the college 15. So when I left college, I weighed around 140-145 lbs. At that weight, I had the one thing that I can't stand - back fat. I abhor it! Can't stand it! Don't want it! May seem petty but that's how I feel. Thanks to my weight gain I have more back fat than I can handle and I'm sick and tired of it. So I know I won't be happy until the back fat is gone!

The pictures below is when I felt my best, 1997 (wow that's a long time ago). Vacationing in the Bahamas, I wore a string bikini for the first time EVER! I haven't worn one since.

I don't know if you can see it clearly in the pic, but I had awesome muscle definition in my thighs. I got that through hours upon hours of spinning.

Halloween (obviously). These jeans were tight as hell! But I had no muffin top, no spill-over. Nothing. I felt good in them.

Those were the good old days or as I like to call them, B.D (before Darrius). I'm going to use these pictures to keep me motivated. These pictures were taken at a time where I was at my healthiest and at my physical best.

The plan is to get back to that place again.

New Year, New Me.

Happy New Year! I know, I know! We're 15 days into the New Year already. Better late than never right? So far 2011 has been good to me. Can't complain. It's only been 15 days, right?  Sorry I haven't been posting here often. My book blog has absolutely consumed what little free time that I have. I'm going to try to post more frequently this year. I promise.

For 2011, I've decided that this will be the year of ME! Last year, I seriously slacked off on taking care of myself - physically, mentally, emotionally. With Alfred being busy with his new business, I was pretty much a single parent last year. Everything was on my shoulders and I felt the full effects of it. Now that he sold his business (believe me that is a good thing) and is no longer working 14+ hours a day, I have the time to focus my energy on the most important person - ME. I had a doctor's appointment last month that made me take a hard look at myself. I'd gained 17 lbs in a year! That's a lot considering I'm only 5'1" and was already carrying around extra weight. I did not need another 17 lbs to add to it. I decided right then and there that this needs to stop. I'm about to turn 38 (yikes!) and my metabolism isn't getting any faster. This weight-gaining crap needs to be stopped in its tracks. So fast forward 3 1/2 weeks and I am finally at a place where I'm ready to stop talking and start doing.

I decided to track my progress on my personal blog. I plan on continuing to blog about family and random stuff (even though I haven't done much of that lately). I am quick to say that I am famous for starting things and not following through. I am the Queen of Not Following Through. Ask me if I've run a 5k yet. Guess what the answer is. A big fat NO. *sigh* So the 5k thing is back on my list also. I don't know what my problem is. I'm lazy, I get discouraged easily, I procrastinate like a mofo and I expect the weight to fall off after 1 week of exercising. I need to stop beating myself up and be realistic. It didn't take a month for this weight to appear and it's not going to take a month to lose it (unfortunately). There's no magic pill; only through exercise and diet will it finally come off.

So here's to a start of a new ME. Know this for sure, I plan on being selfish this year. I've neglected myself for far too long.

Join me on my journey to a new me!

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