Frustration!!!!

I want to pull my hair out. My frustration with Darrius has reached unsurmountable heights. It makes me wonder if he's really my child. I don't know what his problem is but he has been out of control. His behavior has been fine. It's his attitude. It's like he's going through puberty at the age of 10!!! Sometimes I just want to ask him: "What is wrong with you!!!" I don't know how much more I can take. He's currently on punishment because of his report card. He didn't get "bad" grades. On the contrary he got B's and C's. Most parents will be happy with those grades. Well not me because he got those C's because he didn't turn in all of his homework. So basically he could have had A's and B's on his report card. What do I need to do? Hover over him every day when he's doing his homework to make sure it gets done? When I ask him if he's finished his homework and he tells me 'yes', I trust that he's telling me the truth. Obviously he hasn't been. He's now grounded; no tv, no going outside, no video games, no cellphone. And it hasn't phased him one bit.

When I was little and I would get spanked or punished, I would get my act together. Pronto. Maybe boys are different. I don't know. I remember my brother being in trouble all the time. Something has got to change. I can not spend my evenings battling with a 10 year old child. I may runaway from home. I'm hoping it's a hormonal thing that he's going through and that my wonderful child will reappear soon. Because right now this demon-child has worked my last nerve. I have no nerves left. It doesn't help when your husband's solution is to say: Don't let him get to you. Ha! Double Ha! That's easy to say. By the time he gets home from work, I've been dealing with the whining and the complaining and trying to get Darrius started on his homework for 2 hours. And checking the homework and when there are corrections that need to be made, hearing the deep breath and the stomping of the feet and the "oh my gosh!" being muttered as he walks back to his room. So excuse me if by the time the Husband gets home, I'm a little frazzled. And this happens everyday! So sorry if I can't let it get to me. I'm trying to instill good work ethics now so that Darrius can succeed in the future.

Yes I am tough when it comes to school. My parents were tough on me. Being successfull in school was expected. No questions. So of course I'm going to be just as tough, even tougher, on Darrius. Because I know that he's at a disadvantage being a black boy in the public school system. No matter how unfair it is, some teachers treat boys differently. Whether they do it consciously or unconsciously, it's a fact. So I've told Darrius he's going to have to work twice as hard just to get the same recognition as any other classmate. It's the way of the world. It's not fair but that's how it is.

That's the end of my vent. I feel a little better. I'm still at my wit's end.

Calgon...take me away....PLEASE!!!!

Mothers often are too easily intimidated by their children’s negative reactions...When the child cries or is unhappy, the mother reads this as meaning that she is a failure. This is why it is so important for a mother to know...that the process of growing up involves by definition things that her child is not going to like. Her job is not to create a bed of roses, but to help him learn how to pick his way through the thorns. -Elaine Heffner