Bitten by the lazy bug

I admit it. I've been lazy. Big Time! I did go out of town last weekend so I wasn't able to go to the gym but I still have not felt motivated to train. I'm not going to make any progress if I let laziness take over. I don't know if it's really laziness or just a case of the winter blahs. Either way, I need to dig deep and find a way to drag myself back to the gym. I am going to attempt to go this evening. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can fight the Big Lazy.

Road Trip!

Every February we go to a "ski" resort called Massanutten located in Harrisonburg, VA. My father-in-law owns a timeshare there and it has become a family tradition. We snow tube every time we go. The resort uses man-made snow because Virginia doesn't get enough snow to keep the mountain covered. Darrius loves it. There's also snow boarding, skiing, an indoor waterpark and a golf course (for summer visitors). It's a nice, quiet family-oriented place. We arrived Friday and stayed through Sunday. It was unusually warm for this time of year - 65 degrees warm to be exact. But this didn't stop us from slush tubing. Couldn't really call it snow because of the heat and the sun, the snow was melting. We had fun anyway as you can see from my video of me going down the hill. The snow tubing is organized; you buy tickets for a two hour block. And let cattle we're herded up the mountain on this slow "escalator" type device. Then you get in line (there are 7 lanes) and you wait for your turn. It was fun for us - maybe because we don't know any better?

Me on the snow tube...spinning and spinning and spinning!

Darrius was allowed to bring a friend - Jaylin. It was great because we didn't have to entertain him.

We will be going back next February. I just hope the weather cooperates and it will be cold! We were all sweating in our snow suits. Now that wasn't fun.

Heaven - Part I

I've finished the first half of Heaven. I thought a good stopping point is when Heaven is sold by her father to a young couple - The Dennison's - from Atlanta. While reading this book, I wondered if VCA wrote this book, wanting the readers to have sympathy for Heaven and her rough life in the hills of West Virginia? If so, she failed miserably. Personally, I found Heaven too whiny. If I could yell at her and tell her to get it together, I would. Now onto my summary:

Prologue: On the eve of Heaven's 10th birthday, she finds out from her Granny that Sarah really isn't her ma. Granny takes Heaven to a grave. It's the grave of Heaven's mother who died at the age of 14 during childbirth. Granny goes on to tell Heaven the story of how Heaven's mother ran away from home and end up meeting and falling in love with Luke. Apparently, Luke was devastated by the death of his angel and this caused him to completely ignore Heaven. This bit of information gives Heaven some insight as to why her Pa doesn't look at or speak to her. Granny explains how Pa came to be with Sarah shortly after his angel's death. He had cravins, physical cravins. Granny gives Heaven the suitcase her mother was carrying when she arrived in The Willies. The suitcase contained a doll with silvery blond hair wearing a wedding veil. It was Heaven's ma, Luke's angel that was named Leigh.

The book starts with Heaven, a 13 year old girl that lives in abject poverty with her Granny, Grandpa, her 4 siblings (Tom, Fanny, Keith and Our Jane) and her "mother" Sarah. They are poor hill folk. Her Pa, Luke, is in and out of their life. He shows up long enough to deliver food and have sex with Sarah. They don't know where he goes when he leaves but according to Sarah, he rolls out to go to Shirley's Place. Heaven is extremely close with her brother Tom. It could be because they are so close in age. How is that possible? Tom calls her Heavenly (even though her name is Heaven Leigh). Their sister Fanny is a whore in the making. She loves attention, hates Heaven and thinks that the only way to get boys to like her is to go into the closet with them and perform favors. Keith is quiet and I don't think he said more than a sentence in the first half of the book. Our Jane is babied by all because she was born sickly.

The only place where Heaven gets a respite from her poor life is when she goes to school. Everyday Heaven, Tom, Fanny, Keith and Our Jane walk 7 miles to go to school. Heaven and Tom have the same teacher, Miss Deale, who "specializes" in teaching hill folk. Heaven loves Miss Deale. Miss Deale makes sure to encourage their book learning by giving them books to take home and read because she knows that they can't afford to buy any. Things get better for Heaven at school when Tom introduces her to the new boy in school, Logan. His family owns the local drug store so you know he comes from money. Their eyes meet and Logan has fallen head over heels for the girl with the cornflower blue eyes. Wow! That was fast. Of course, Fanny does not like this and does everything to draw attention to herself. Unfortunate for her, Logan only has eyes for Heaven.

Things continue on, business as usual, until Sarah realizes one day that she's knocked up. When she tells Luke, he blows up at her. He gave her birth control pills so why wasn't she taking them? She didn't understand his instructions and took them all at once so she wouldn't forget. Well, that's one way to do it. Luke leaves again to his normal hangout. While he's gone, Sarah prays that she will provide him with a son that looks just like Luke. That will get him to stay. Not! Sarah goes into labor and gives birth - no Luke in sight. But something's wrong with the baby. It's funny looking. OMG! The baby's stillborn. Sarah goes into a tizzy. Granny dies. And Luke finally shows up and drops a bombshell - He has syphilis. His nasty ways killed Sarah's baby. And his Ma! Luke takes off again.

Sarah goes bat-shit crazy and starts mumbling to herself about how she has to get out of here. She needs to leave. And guess what? She does. So now the only adult in the cabin is Grandpa and he can't do anything except sit in his rocker and whittle. Heaven stops going to school so that she can take care of Grandpa and the sickly Our Jane. Fanny uses this as an excuse to not go to school also. Things get rough. Food runs low. It's winter and it's making hunting tough. Keith and Our Jane are whiny and cry because their belly hurts. Oh when is Pa coming back with food? Surely he wouldn't let his kids starve? In the nick of time, Pa shows up with a bag full of food. Our hero! And he's out the door again. He don't want his kids to catch the syphilis.

Pa returns just in time for Christmas Eve. He has a big surprise for his brood. Christmas presents? A winter coat? New shoes? NO! A new family! Ta-dah! Luke figured since he got more kids than he can support, why not sell them off to a family that don't have kids for the bargain price of $500 per child. The first kid to be sold is Our Jane and Keith. You can't break them up; they are a package deal. Heaven is sick with grief as Our Jane cries "Hev-lee!" Heaven hates her father even more and gives him the death stare. Fanny is pissed because she wasn't sold first. She has to get outta here! I should have been first! And Tom can't believe his Pa sold his own kids. Heaven can't believe that Grandpa just sat there and said nothing. Fanny gets her wish. She gets sold to the Reverend and his wife. Next on the block, Tom! He's a sturdy young man who can do go work. Now you go with Buck Henry. Last man standing - Heaven.

Heaven ponders her fate. Now she wishes for Miss Deale or Logan to come to her rescue. Too late now Heaven. Your pride got in the way. You didn't want any help when it was being offered now you are on your own. While Heaven waits for the other shoe to drop, Luke decides that he has the right to touch and feel on Heaven - inappropriately - cause she's from his seed. Yeah...okay. Luckily Grandpa decides to be lucid and stops this. The next day two couples arrive. Heaven has a choice. Which couple to chose. The older staid couple that won't look at her. Or the flashy young couple. Hmmm...who to chose, who to chose. She decides to go with couple #2! Heaven hugs Grandpa, gives Luke another death stare and leaves the raggedy cabin behind. She's now on her way to a better life...or is she?

Stay tuned.....

Day 10 - On a roll!

First let me say: Today is my birthday. Yay me! So I woke up this morning at 4am and dragged my tired 36 year old behind to the gym. I wanted to stay in the bed. It was so nice and toasty inside. And I could hear the cold wind outside. But I told myself to not give in to the comfort and get to the gym.

The first thing I do is get on the treadmill. In my mind I'm hesitant to hop on the 'mill because I don't know if my shins are going to give in to the pain. I start walking, I do my 4 minutes. I up the speed and start running. I make sure to run at a .5% incline. This has really helped ease up the pressure on my shins. I run for 3 minutes and go back to walking. I feel good. A little winded but I'm feeling good. I crank up the speed again and do my second round of running. I start getting tired at the 2 minute mark but I push through. I start walking again. Third time's a charm so I crank up the speed. I start hitting a wall before the 2 minute mark. I'm winded. My shins are talking to me. And I'm tired. I keep looking at the time on the treadmill. I tell myself to stop. I find a spot on the treadmill and just stare at it. Before I knew it, my 3 minutes were up.

Today was a good day. I was able to not give in to the tiredness and the shin pain (which wasn't that bad). Friday is my next day to train. I can't wait!

Happy Birthday to Me

Thirty-six years ago today, I was born at Crittenden Memorial Hospital in West Memphis, Arkansas.

I'm not doing anything special to celebrate my birthday. 36 isn't a special number or a milestone birthday. I'm not excited about being a year older. I'm officially in my mid-30s and I don't like it one bit. In my teens and 20s, I looked forward to celebrating my birthday. I would start making birthday announcements weeks before my birthday. The tide turned when I was 29, getting ready to turn 30. Turning 30 crept up on me. I spotted my first gray hair right before my 30th birthday. I wasn't ready mentally to turn 30. But I didn't have a choice. Time wasn't going to wait for me to prepare myself. I decided to celebrate turning 30 in style. Went to Vegas for a long weekend with friends and partied the entire weekend. It was the best.

I started being okay with being in my early 30s. I was still young. I didn't look my age. I felt great. And then 35 hit. Boom! I felt like I was headed down a slippery slope. I wanted to celebrate turning 35 in style - I wanted to go back to Vegas with friends. Things didn't turn out quite the way I had planned. Vegas trip was scrapped; no one could go. So I decided on Atlantic City. It's within driving distance and it could be an overnight trip. Well, I went to Atlantic City but it was only me and Alfred. I had a decent time but it wasn't the all out party weekend like I had in Vegas.

Thirty-five was an important birthday for me. There were things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'd turned 35. I wanted to have lost the weight I'd gained after having Darrius. I was supposed to have lost this weight back when I turned 30 but that didn't happen. I wanted to have made a career change. I had decided that if I wasn't pregant or in the process of getting pregnant by the time I turned 35, I wasn't going to have anymore kids. I always thought I didn't want anymore kids and the cut-off age was just for show. My decision had already been made a long time ago. But now, here I am, 36 years old, and wondering if that was the best decision. Thanks to medicine and science, I could still have a baby at this age, but do I want to? I sometimes regret that Darrius doesn't have a sibling. Having a brother growing up was great even though we fought all the time. But that's why siblings do. Darrius asks for a little brother or sister now. I can't imagine having an 11 year old and an infant. The age gap....

This birthday I'm feeling reflective and a little melancholy. I don't like getting older. I am going to fight getting older every step of the way. I'm going to continue to color my hair to hide the gray. I will continue to be on the lookout for crows feet and wrinkles. I don't think I'd ever go as far as to get Botox or plastic surgery. That's not my style. But I do intend on trying to keep my youthful appearance for as long as possible without looking like those women on Real Housewives of Orange County. They just take it too damn far!

I'm going to not try to feel sorry for myself on this special day. I feel blessed. I'm alive to see another year. I have a great husband and wonderful son. I have the love and support of my family. And even though it's not my dream job, I have a job that I'm good at and provides a steady paycheck. So it's not all bad. It just gets harder for me each year to feel happy about turning a year older. Maybe once I turn 40, it will be different. BTW - I am not looking forward to turning 40. :-)

Day 9

I've been suffering from a case of the Blechs. After suffering from shin and calf pain, I took a couple of days off from my training. But I hopped back on the saddle yesterday. And it felt good and it felt bad. It felt good because I was able to walk for 4 minutes and run for 3 minutes for 3 sessions. By the time I hit the second round, I was huffing and puffing but I pushed through. On the 3rd round, I wanted to give up. Every time I looked at the time on the treadmill, I wanted to hit the button and slow the treadmill down. But I kept telling myself 2 more minutes, I can do it. And then it would be 1:30 minutes left, then 1 minute, then 30 seconds, until I was done.

I need to stop looking at the time on the treadmill. When I do, it makes it go by slower. And mentally I start giving up. Other than the running, my workouts having been great. I've started weight training 3 times a week and I'm continuing my stretching. It's ironic; I started this so that I can run a 5k but this process has made me more consistent with the other part of getting fit and preparing for this race. I wasn't expecting that.

My objective for this week is: Complete 2 more running sessions. Stop looking at the time while on the treadmill. Push through, don't give up.

Tooth Fairy

Darrius went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago for a cleaning and Dr. Kramer told him that he had 2 loose teeth. At the time, the teeth weren't extremely loose, so Dr. Kramer told Darrius to start wiggling them to help loosen them. When Darrius got home from his appointment, he went to work. Hearing that he had 2 loose teeth got Darrius motivated. He had dollar signs in his eyes. He was already counting the money that he would get with two teeth underneath his pillow.

One week went by and neither tooth came out. Another week and still no tooth. Over this past weekend, Darrius was on a wiggle-fest. He constantly had his fingers in his mouth, wiggling his loose tooth. It got so bad that it was bleeding Sunday night. I told him to give his tooth a rest. It will come out when it's ready. Apparently, the tooth was ready last night. I was in the kitchen fixing dinner and Darrius comes in the kitchen and grabs a paper towel. I immediately ask him if he spilled something. He says no; then I look at him and he has blood on his lip. I'm thinking he hurt himself and I ask him what happened. He said he was trying to pull his tooth out. Oh Lord. Just leave it alone. It will come out when it's ready!

Darrius goes back into his room and a couple of minutes later he comes out, tooth in hand, and proclaims: I got it! I shake my head. I can't believe he pulled it out after I told him to leave it alone. And then Darrius says: Now I'm going to get $5 dollars from the tooth fairy. I remember getting a quarter for my teeth and thinking that was a lot of money.

I hoped I had some ones in my wallet. I only had four so the tooth fairy shorted Darrius a dollar. He'll get over it. We're in a recession. He should be happy he got that much.



This is the pillow that Darrius put his tooth in. There's a real pocket on Batman's utility belt.


Here's the "tooth fairy" retrieving the tooth and leaving the money. Hee hee!